Are you married to yourself?

Ah, June! The most popular season to watch people get married—to themselves.

What? Yep! 

In a small, yet growing trend, women are practicing sologamy. At this self-wedding ceremony, the woman wears a wedding dress, gives herself a ring, and vows to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. The website IMarriedMe.com (which will sell you a self-marriage kit for $230 if you’re interested) says, “a self-wedding is a symbolic ceremony—about reconnecting and staying connected with you.”

Well if that’s what self-marriage is, I guess I’m a sologamist too. I’ll be honest; I focus on myself every day—I just do it for free and without the ceremony. 

But that’s the problem. I’m too self-focused. It’s the problem for all of us. 

No matter how altruistic I try to appear, every day I fight the battle to make this world about me. I’m disappointed because things didn’t go my way. I’m frustrated because people didn’t do what I thought they should. I’m mad because I’m inconvenienced. I want this world to be about me, and I am irritated when it isn’t. 

This self-centeredness is a constant battle for our souls. What we need is a kit to help us remember that we’ve already been part of the best wedding of all time. Oh hey, there is one. It’s called the Bible. In it we’ll find out that—for free to us, but at great cost to himself—Jesus came as our bridegroom. He gave up all his personal glory and came to earth as a human—connecting himself to us. He offered himself as a sacrifice and rose again. When he returned into heaven with his physical body, he stayed connected to us—for now and for eternity.

The more we focus on that marriage, the less time we have for self-indulgence. Now, for those who believe in Jesus, we turn our attention away from ourselves and look for ways to connect more people to Jesus.

“If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:1-4).

Linda Buxa is a writer, Bible study leader, and retreat speaker. She had no idea there was such a word as solygamy until she heard it in a news story.