It's Marriage Month and our bloggers are tackling relationship issues--from the male perspective (He said) and the female perspective (She said). Click here to read what Pastor Jeske has to say about communication this week.
When my husband and I were first married, as we’d drive in the car, we’d occasionally ask each other questions such as “What am I doing well?” and “What would you like me to work on?”
Now that we’re out of the blissful, newlywed stage and there are three more people living in our house, my questions sound more like, “Do you need lunch?” “Are you picking up the kids from school?” and “Do you need anything from Target?”
It’s easy to get so wrapped up in taking care of the details of living that we forget the details of loving. We run on cruise control so much that we forget about scheduled maintenance. With Valentine’s Day rapidly approaching, I am thinking I should put some effort into talking more. (Ha! I threw that in there to scare my husband.) Really, I mean talking more about things that matter. Sure, maybe I pack his lunch, but do I thank him for how he loves our family? So I came up with eight conversation starters—seven questions and one statement—that I’m hoping might rekindle meaningful communication. You can also get a printable version of them here.
Oh . . . while having these conversations, remember that though we were all made in God’s image, he did wire us differently. So women, a sure way to make the guys panic is to say, “Now we need to have a conversation about our relationship.” Ask these questions while you’re taking a walk or driving in the car or washing the dishes, and they may open up more.
Guys, while there may be some things to work on, resist the urge to hear these questions as a fix-it list. One thing my husband will say is, “Do you just want me to listen or do you want me to do something?” He’s learned that sometimes simply listening is all I need to feel better.
Linda Buxa double majored in psychology and communications. Her husband graduated with a degree in electrical engineering. There’s a chance they have different communication styles. At a marriage retreat they attended, this video about how God made them fearfully and wonderfully—and differently—gave them both a good laugh.