I’m pretty good at sinning, and I already know that marriage illuminated a lot of my flaws, so I should have expected motherhood would bring on a whole new flavor of sin in my life.
To be honest, I could list at least 87 different ways I’ve sinned as a mom, but I’ll focus on two big categories:
How I’ve sinned in pride:
Where do I even begin? Mom life gives you endless opportunities for comparison and therefore pride.
I’ve got a pretty good baby—and so of course I’ve found myself having pride parties in my head countless times.
I’m even so terrible that I have at times given verbal, outward credit to God for something that’s gone well (a natural birth, a baby who sleeps well, good postpartum health), while in my head patting myself on the back thinking, “Yeah, but also I did work really hard at that.”
So here’s my confession: I haven’t displayed much external pride, but I have definitely allowed pride to corrupt my thoughts.
I’ve been prideful of my efforts, my knowledge, my choices . . . which is ridiculous considering how little cred I truly have with only six months of mom life under my belt.
This pride is mostly in my head, but I see it come out in my actions as well. At times I find myself caring that my kid looks especially well-dressed or even that I look especially put together as a new mom—why? So others will think more highly of me.
How I’ve sinned in envy and discontent:
The scary thing about the comparison game is that if you play it, you’ll sometimes come out “ahead” (see section on pride above), but that also means you’ll inevitably come out behind sometimes as well.
Motherhood has gone pretty well, but it hasn’t been a cakewalk either, and so I find myself sitting with feelings of discontent, jealousy, bitterness, or judgment at times when someone else appears to have it better.
Take breastfeeding—this is just one example that applies to most areas of motherhood where someone has it “better” than me. I’ve been judgy when I hear of women “pumping and dumping,” because my milk supply is so precarious that I would never dream of tossing that liquid gold. I look down on them for not appreciating how good they have it.
I even go so far as to assume the worst from the moms who have things easier—I assume that they’re probably looking down on me for supplementing with formula. Assuming the worst from people = definitely sin (James 4:12).
This is just scratching the surface, friends. I am truly a sin-stained train wreck. Maybe you are too.
So what do we do about our ugliness?
As a pregnant, soon-to-be mama, I received advice on baby gear, sleep strategies, and labor, but no one warned me, “Be on your guard. You might find yourself in an icky place when you become a mom. It opens up a whole new arena for sin.”
So I’m warning you. I’m confessing to you. And I’m encouraging you that there’s a way more godly, healthy way to deal with this.
Diana Kerr is a certified professional life coach for go-getter Christian women. She’s a sinful mom working with other sinful moms and women who want to live intentionally and minimize overwhelm. For a FREE workbook from Diana, click here to download “3 Lies about Time Christian Women Tell Themselves & 3 Truths That Will Set You Free.”